"Dog Bites Man."

That could be news.

"Man Bites Dog."

Now that is news.

Perhaps you've heard this twisted sentence before. Over the years I've heard it many times in journalism circles to make a point about what is news — and what is really news.

Most newsrooms today would have a harder time describing what is not news. But one rule stands the test of time. Readers love the unusual, the bizarre, and the offbeat. Shock and surprise always make headlines.

Some of the media do go overboard with the sensational. Some headlines might poke your sensitive side, but it's likely you will read the story.

In fact, I'd bet you will read every one of the following true stories, even if some are a bit gruesome:

"In November 2006, Chicago resident Malachi Ritscher set up a video camera in front of the 25-foot-tall Flame of Millennium sculpture, donned a skull mask, wrapped himself in an American flag, and climbed onto the base of the monument. In front of him was a handmade banner reading "THOU SHALT NOT KILL." He then lit a match and set himself on fire."

"Ettore and Rossana of Padua, Italy, had been married for many years. Ettore faithfully visited his wife in the hospital every day, where she had lain in a coma for several months in 2005 with little hope for recovery. Distraught over the loss of his longtime companion, Ettore committed suicide in the couple's home. Hours later, Rossana woke up."

"A Scottish clan chieftain named Maelbrigte of Moray was nicknamed "The Tusk" for his large, protruding teeth. In a battle with the Norwegians in the year AD 892, King Sigurd I of Orkney killed Maelbrigte, then chopped off his head and strapped it to his saddle. As he rode, Maelbrigte's 'tusk' scraped against Sigurd's leg. The wound soon became infected. Sigurd died of septic shock."

"Emperor Louis the Pious, son of the great Charlemagne, king of the Francs, was literally scared to death when he experienced five minutes of total darkness during the lunar eclipse of May 5, 840."

"A Portuguese man wrote his last will and testament when he was 29 years old. In it, he designated 70 beneficiaries, all of whom had been selected at random from the Lisbon telephone book. He passed away in 2007 at the age of 42, leaving the heirs he had never met approximately $11,000 each."

"In January 1919, a 30-foot 'wall of goo' swept through Boston, killing 21 people and injuring 150 others. Unseasonably warm temperatures caused a giant tank filled with molasses to burst open and spew two million gallons of sticky substance all over the center of the city. The massive wave destroyed buildings, swallowed up horses and swept away wagons and everything else in its path. Rescue efforts were nearly impossible; rescuers were either carried away in the thick wave or became hopelessly stuck in the syrup."

"Franz Riedl, of Austria, was very responsible with his money. He arranged for his rent and other bills to be paid automatically from his bank account every month. Riedl's mummified corpse lay undetected in his apartment for at least five years, until the funds ran out in his bank account in October 2006 and his landlord came to collect overdue rent."

"In 1953, jockey Frank Hayes suffered a heart attack during a horse race. The horse, Sweet Kiss, went on to finish first, making Hayes the only dead jockey ever to win a race."

In August 2005, a German man was killed by the fish he was trying to catch. The fist latched onto the fishing pole and fought ferociously for control of it. The man lost his balance, fell into the water, and drowned. Police described the fish as 'ordinary.' "

"Members of a British cricket club were burning yard debris when a flaming rabbit suddenly shot out from the bonfire and ran into an equipment hut. Fully engulfed, the rabbit set the hut ablaze and caused more than $100,000 damage."

"On average, New York City recycling plants and trash-processing facilities find at least one dead body (or portions thereof) about every 18 months."

These are all true stories, according to author Cynthia Ceilan, who included them with many others into a 2008 book titled "Thinning the Herd ... Tales of the Weirdly Departed."

Ceilan thought these offbeat slices of life would interest readers. Do you agree?

I do, because "Man Bites Dog" is always news.

• LONNY CAIN is Managing Editor of The Times. To share thoughts, comments or ideas, please call 815-431-4041 or e-mail lonnyc@mywebtimes.com or attach a comment to this column on our Web site. You are also welcome to stop by or mail to The Times, 110 W. Jefferson St., Ottawa, IL 61350.