Your friends may laugh at you. An authority figure may tell you you're overreacting. Some may even tell you to feel flattered.

But being stalked isn't funny. It's not only creepy, it's dangerous and can lead to physically harming altercations.

About 83 percent of those who are stalked do not report the incidents, said Natalie R. Alexander, prevention director of A Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Service, Thursday during a presentation centering on intimate partner stalking at Illinois Valley Community College.

A study Alexander cited found 42 percent of those who report stalking to police were told they were overreacting.

Stalking occurs when a person knowingly and at least on two occasions follows or places a person under surveillance, causing a reasonable person to feel fear. Stalking also could include verbal or written threats to the victim, victim's family and, under a new Illinois law, pets.

In Illinois, stalking is classified as a Class 4 felony upon first offense, meaning those convicted could serve prison time. It is considered a crime in all 50 states.

However, Alexander noted, as a society, America tends to not consider stalking a crime.

"It's such a silent crime," she said, after stating that's one of the reasons stalkers begin following victims -- because they can.

"And as a society, we laugh at it," she said.

Stalking differs from harassment in that while harassment may be annoying, stalking causes fear.

Something as simple as a song could even be an element in stalking, though a song by itself is harmless.

Alexander shared a case from Massachusetts in which a man continuously called a woman, playing the song, "Buttercup," a 1969 hit performed by The Foundations, every time she picked up the phone.

"So what's threatening about that song?" Alexander asked a human services class attending the presentation. "Nothing, really. It's just a poppy kind of song."

Then Alexander explained police learned the woman previously had been sexually assaulted by the man. "Buttercup" had been playing during the attack.

"So he was raping her all over again by playing that song," Alexander said.

Studies show one in 12 women in the United States will be stalked, while one in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetime.

The statistic most shocking to Alexander is one in 13 college women will be stalked during their college careers.

"That's huge," Alexander added.

Also, 87 percent of stalkers are men. Most victims know their stalkers.

Alexander also dispelled myths pertaining to stalking, including one that says you can't be stalked by someone you're dating.

Fifty-seven percent of victims are stalked even before they are out of the relationship with the offender.

"So it's not after the relationship ends," Alexander added. "Stalking is about trying to get that power and control back."

Alexander stressed stalking is not something to take lightly.

"You can't take it with a grain of salt. You can't say (the offenders) don't know what they're doing.

"Stalkers are hunters. They're hunting human beings."

Victims often suffer physical and emotional problems, including loss of sleep, nightmares, weight gain or loss and depression.

Being a stalking victim also can have a financial impact. Alexander noted 20 percent of victims reported lost time at work and 7 percent never returned to their jobs.

Many stalkers will receive their information via a third party, such as a co-worker or friend of the victim.

"Some people are helping stalkers and they don't even know they're helping," Alexander said.

Technology like cell phones and computer monitoring equipment have proven to be aides to stalkers.

The average time a victim is stalked is 1.8 years.

Alexander encouraged victims of stalking to speak up and develop a support group of family and friends.

"No one has the right to take over your life," Alexander said.

Stalking facts

Stalking is a crime in every state.

One in 12 women and one in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetimes.

In the United States, 1.4 million people are stalked every year.

76 percent of women killed by their intimate partners were stalked by these partners before they were killed.

2 percent of stalking cases end in homicide.

Most stalkers are known by the victims.

13 percent of college women are stalked during one six-to nine-month period.

Resources for stalking victims

The Stalking Resource Center: phone, 202-467-8700, or e-mail src@ncvc.org.

ADV & SAS, 24-hour crisis line, 800-892-3375.

Battered Women's Justice Project: www.bwjp.org.

The National Center for Victims of Crime: www.ncvc.org.